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Exploring the road to emotional maturity

I share insights through these memos on the things I have thought about to facilitate my mental fitness. A critical factor for mental health is developing knowledge and skills to manage one’s emotional well-being effectively.

I recently finished reading How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole Lepera. I enjoyed the read and recommend this book highly for those interested in learning how the body-mind-emotions work together. I now follow her on Instagram with millions of others. This memo is my reflection on one chapter that hit a core and created a moment of pause for me. My mission in life is to become what I teach. I am grateful that I have learned that living life is not about happiness; it is about being aligned to core values. I am focusing more energy on surrounding myself with authentic connections and avoiding unhealthy ones in my personal and professional lives.

I am putting energy into relationships with people who trust and accept me and my imperfections, demonstrate they care about my best interests, and challenge me to become the best version of myself. Of course, I will be doing the same for them, creating a win-win. Moving away from negative drains and manipulation sounds logical but requires emotional maturity. Failure to do this is why many are stuck in terrible relationships that add little value.

We all make life decisions because of our core values and emotional maturity when faced with unpleasant emotions. Nowhere does it say life is supposed to be easy; it can be hard. I am working daily to stop reacting to negative emotions on my journey to discovering and improving my emotional maturity.

This is an essential first step to being aware of reactivity and accepting that our emotions do not control us; they only inform us. We can learn to move from reaction to observing unpleasant emotions with support. Making important life decisions when upset often results in hurt feelings for self and others.

All the best – Dr. Bill Howatt

Dr. Bill Memo - Chapter 2, Article 3

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